i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
