my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
