just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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