I need help removing her.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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