If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
