I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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