i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
