Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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