No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
