I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize