Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
