the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
