We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
