It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
