we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect