Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
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We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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