one might say we're banned from that church
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
