I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
