Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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