I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
