he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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