I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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