...so i touched it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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