my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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