Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
