the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
