I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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