I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
