She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
