I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i believe in u and ur pee
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
