I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
