Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
