Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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