my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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