4 words: hood of his car
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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