Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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