Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
