hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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