I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
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You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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