I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize