the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
