Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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