That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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