Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
