chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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