Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
