Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
