i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
