Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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