Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
