i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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