Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
