They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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