Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
