She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
