i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
