i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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