"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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