No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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