Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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