hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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