He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
