if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your penis caused this!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
