i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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