...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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