he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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